I have no idea how I ended up sitting on a mostly eaten apple today during class…but it happened.
It wasn’t my apple. I know this for several reasons. 1) It was a Granny Smith apple. These apples are slightly more sour than red ones and I don’t particularly care for them. 2) I didn’t eat an apple today and if I did, I wouldn’t have eaten it without cutting it up first because I am a wuss and it hurts my teeth.
The big mystery is why someone would decide that my chair was a good place to leave their apple core. It doesn’t make sense to me. Also, it created an awkward situation for me. I’m sure the people next to me and behind me couldn’t quite figure out why I reached under my butt and pulled out an apple core. I was as confused as they were, however, and was then faced with another dilemma. Where do I put an apple core that is not mine in the middle of a law school class? Well, I just did what any person in my situation would do. I set it on the ground next to another girl’s backpack. Now it was her problem.
The good news is that it didn’t leave a mark on my jeans. Of course, I couldn’t really know that for sure at the time and had to sweat it until I got to a bathroom. I also had to wait until I was alone in the bathroom so I could do a buttcheck without getting looked at weirdly for checking out my own rear end. But it all worked out just fine.
Oh, and to answer the question I’m sure everyone is asking themselves….no, I didn’t lick my fingers. I knew where that apple had been.
